Jon's working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree
through the buzz saw, and accidentally shears off
all ten of his fingers. He goes to the emergency room.
The doctor says, "Yuck! Well, give me the fingers,
and I'll see what I can do."
Jon says, "I haven't got the fingers."
The doctor says, "What do you mean, you haven't got
the fingers? It's the year 2000. We've got
microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques.
I could have put them back on and made
you like new. Why didn't you bring the fingers?"
Jon says, "Well, heck, Doc, I couldn't pick 'em up."

Art
DISCLAIMER: If you find a posting or message from me
offensive, inappropriate, or disruptive, please ignore it.
If you don't know how to ignore a posting, complain to
me and I will be only too happy to demonstrate...

In article ,
Wood Butcher wrote:
Jon's working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree
through the buzz saw, and accidentally shears off
all ten of his fingers. He goes to the emergency room.
The doctor says, "Yuck! Well, give me the fingers,
and I'll see what I can do."
Jon says, "I haven't got the fingers."
The doctor says, "What do you mean, you haven't got
the fingers? It's the year 2000. We've got
microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques.
I could have put them back on and made
you like new. Why didn't you bring the fingers?"
Jon says, "Well, heck, Doc, I couldn't pick 'em up."

I'm not grasping this...


--
No dumb questions, just dumb answers.

Larry Wasserman - Baltimore, Maryland -

On Oct 11, 12:33 am, () wrote:
.."I'm not grasping this...

Somebody should have given him a hand?

Somebody should have given him a hand?

Or just given him the finger and let him handle his only problems.

Andy wrote:
Somebody should have given him a hand?

Or just given him the finger and let him handle his only problems.

The doctor could have knuckled down and made it a joint effort perhaps?

Wood Butcher wrote:

Jon's working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree
through the buzz saw, and accidentally shears off
all ten of his fingers. He goes to the emergency room.
The doctor says, "Yuck! Well, give me the fingers,
and I'll see what I can do."
Jon says, "I haven't got the fingers."
The doctor says, "What do you mean, you haven't got
the fingers? It's the year 2000. We've got
microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques.
I could have put them back on and made
you like new. Why didn't you bring the fingers?"
Jon says, "Well, heck, Doc, I couldn't pick 'em up."

Doesn't work in any place where people do not habitually wear closed
shoes. My question: why didn't he use his toes then?

Peter
--
Add my middle initial to email me. It has become attached to a country

Because it's a freekin joke.....
Why didn't he just have a friend pick them up???

"Peter Ashby" wrote in message
uk...
Wood Butcher wrote:

Jon's working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree
through the buzz saw, and accidentally shears off
all ten of his fingers. He goes to the emergency room.
The doctor says, "Yuck! Well, give me the fingers,
and I'll see what I can do."
Jon says, "I haven't got the fingers."
The doctor says, "What do you mean, you haven't got
the fingers? It's the year 2000. We've got
microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques.
I could have put them back on and made
you like new. Why didn't you bring the fingers?"
Jon says, "Well, heck, Doc, I couldn't pick 'em up."

Doesn't work in any place where people do not habitually wear closed
shoes. My question: why didn't he use his toes then?

Peter
--
Add my middle initial to email me. It has become attached to a country

Bob Meyer (in NuaXg.1156$rS.993@fed1read05) said:

| Because it's a freekin joke.....
| Why didn't he just have a friend pick them up???

'Cause none of his friends had fingers too?

--
Morris Dovey
DeSoto Solar
DeSoto, Iowa USA
http://www.iedu.com/DeSoto

"Robatoy" wrote in message
oups.com...

Andy wrote:
Somebody should have given him a hand?

Or just given him the finger and let him handle his only problems.

The doctor could have knuckled down and made it a joint effort perhaps?


The doctor probably shouldn't be pointing fingers and just do his job.

In article ,
Morris Dovey wrote:
Bob Meyer (in NuaXg.1156$rS.993@fed1read05) said:

| Because it's a freekin joke.....
| Why didn't he just have a friend pick them up???

'Cause none of his friends had fingers too?

Enough! I'm sick of these off-hand remarks!


--
No dumb questions, just dumb answers.

Larry Wasserman - Baltimore, Maryland -

() wrote in
:

In article ,
Morris Dovey wrote:
Bob Meyer (in NuaXg.1156$rS.993@fed1read05) said:

| Because it's a freekin joke.....
| Why didn't he just have a friend pick them up???

'Cause none of his friends had fingers too?

Enough! I'm sick of these off-hand remarks!



You've got your fingers in the jar now!

Puckdropper
--
Wise is the man who attempts to answer his question before asking it.

To email me directly, send a message to puckdropper (at) fastmail.fm

Morris Dovey wrote:
Bob Meyer (in NuaXg.1156$rS.993@fed1read05) said:

| Because it's a freekin joke.....
| Why didn't he just have a friend pick them up???

'Cause none of his friends had fingers too?


I'm still trying to figure out how he got
to the hospital...

--

FF

wrote in message


I'm still trying to figure out how he got
to the hospital...

I doubt he thumbed a ride.

wrote:
Morris Dovey wrote:
Bob Meyer (in NuaXg.1156$rS.993@fed1read05) said:

Because it's a freekin joke.....
Why didn't he just have a friend pick them up???

'Cause none of his friends had fingers too?


I'm still trying to figure out how he got
to the hospital...


Do you suppose he let his fingers do the walking?



--
Mortimer Schnerd, RN
mschnerdatcarolina.rr.com

In article ews.net,
Puckdropper wrote:
() wrote in
:

In article ,
Morris Dovey wrote:
Bob Meyer (in NuaXg.1156$rS.993@fed1read05) said:

| Because it's a freekin joke.....
| Why didn't he just have a friend pick them up???

'Cause none of his friends had fingers too?

Enough! I'm sick of these off-hand remarks!


You've got your fingers in the jar now!

Well, no one's going to hand it to me on a platter.

--
No dumb questions, just dumb answers.

Larry Wasserman - Baltimore, Maryland -

In article . com,
wrote:

Morris Dovey wrote:
Bob Meyer (in NuaXg.1156$rS.993@fed1read05) said:

| Because it's a freekin joke.....
| Why didn't he just have a friend pick them up???

'Cause none of his friends had fingers too?


I'm still trying to figure out how he got
to the hospital...

--

We know he definitely didn't hitch hike.

--
No dumb questions, just dumb answers.

Larry Wasserman - Baltimore, Maryland -

In article ,
Mortimer Schnerd, RN mschnerdatcarolina.rr.com wrote:
wrote:
Morris Dovey wrote:
Bob Meyer (in NuaXg.1156$rS.993@fed1read05) said:

Because it's a freekin joke.....
Why didn't he just have a friend pick them up???

'Cause none of his friends had fingers too?


I'm still trying to figure out how he got
to the hospital...


Do you suppose he let his fingers do the walking?


I've gotta hand it to ya on that one.

--
No dumb questions, just dumb answers.

Larry Wasserman - Baltimore, Maryland -

We know he definitely didn't hitch hike.


How would he have called a taxi?

Robatoy wrote:
Andy wrote:

Somebody should have given him a hand?

Or just given him the finger and let him handle his only problems.


The doctor could have knuckled down and made it a joint effort perhaps?


The doctor did.

AND NOW THE REST OF THE STORY

The doctor sent the emergency crew back at the accident scene to
retrieve the missing fingers and reattachment surgery was scheduled.

The hospital staff mixed up the paperwork and mistakenly the patient's
right leg was amputated.

Upon realizing the mistake emergency surgery was again performed only to
have the paperwork fouled up for a second time and the patient's left
leg was amputated.

A law suit was filed but when the case came to trial it was thrown out
of court.

The judge ruled the patient didn't have a leg to stand on.

--
Jack Novak
Buffalo, NY - USA

On Wed, 11 Oct 2006 11:13:09 -0700, "Bob Meyer" wrote:

Because it's a freekin joke.....
Why didn't he just have a friend pick them up???

Maybe he already gave them the finger?


"Peter Ashby" wrote in message
. ruk...
Wood Butcher wrote:

Jon's working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree
through the buzz saw, and accidentally shears off
all ten of his fingers. He goes to the emergency room.
The doctor says, "Yuck! Well, give me the fingers,
and I'll see what I can do."
Jon says, "I haven't got the fingers."
The doctor says, "What do you mean, you haven't got
the fingers? It's the year 2000. We've got
microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques.
I could have put them back on and made
you like new. Why didn't you bring the fingers?"
Jon says, "Well, heck, Doc, I couldn't pick 'em up."

Doesn't work in any place where people do not habitually wear closed
shoes. My question: why didn't he use his toes then?

Peter
--
Add my middle initial to email me. It has become attached to a country


Mac

https://home.comcast.net/~mac.davis
https://home.comcast.net/~mac.davis/wood_stuff.htm

Nova wrote:
Robatoy wrote:
Andy wrote:

Somebody should have given him a hand?

Or just given him the finger and let him handle his only problems.


The doctor could have knuckled down and made it a joint effort perhaps?


The doctor did.

AND NOW THE REST OF THE STORY

Fast Forward------------------

A modern-day Tarzan got into a squirmish with an aligator.....and lost.
The cantankerous croc (alliteration req'd) had chomped off his arm AND
his genitals.
Fortunately for him, a US Army hospital was nearby, and they managed to
graft his arm back on, but his genitals were lost forever. A zoo, also
close enough to make this joke work, did have a still-birth baby
elephant. The brilliant minds decided to graft the baby elephant's
trunk onto the missing parts of our Tarzan.
After much therapy (can you tell I'm married to an educator, CC,
Paliative, Rehab?) our Tarzan did take to the surgery and during an
assessment hearing, he was asked how things were between Jane and him.
"Well", he said, "Jane quite likes the result of this surgery, but,
everytime I walk across a lawn, my dick shoves a tuft of grass up my
ass."

Robatoy wrote:
Nova wrote:

Robatoy wrote:

Andy wrote:


Somebody should have given him a hand?

Or just given him the finger and let him handle his only problems.


The doctor could have knuckled down and made it a joint effort perhaps?


The doctor did.

AND NOW THE REST OF THE STORY


Fast Forward------------------

A modern-day Tarzan got into a squirmish with an aligator.....and lost.
The cantankerous croc (alliteration req'd) had chomped off his arm AND
his genitals.
Fortunately for him, a US Army hospital was nearby, and they managed to
graft his arm back on, but his genitals were lost forever. A zoo, also
close enough to make this joke work, did have a still-birth baby
elephant. The brilliant minds decided to graft the baby elephant's
trunk onto the missing parts of our Tarzan.
After much therapy (can you tell I'm married to an educator, CC,
Paliative, Rehab?) our Tarzan did take to the surgery and during an
assessment hearing, he was asked how things were between Jane and him.
"Well", he said, "Jane quite likes the result of this surgery, but,
everytime I walk across a lawn, my dick shoves a tuft of grass up my
ass."

And I'll bet you're really proud of that one...
gark,
jo4hn

In article BVrXg.5492$9Y1.2525@trndny03, Nova wrote:
Robatoy wrote:
Andy wrote:

Somebody should have given him a hand?

Or just given him the finger and let him handle his only problems.


The doctor could have knuckled down and made it a joint effort perhaps?


The doctor did.

AND NOW THE REST OF THE STORY

The doctor sent the emergency crew back at the accident scene to
retrieve the missing fingers and reattachment surgery was scheduled.

The hospital staff mixed up the paperwork and mistakenly the patient's
right leg was amputated.

Upon realizing the mistake emergency surgery was again performed only to
have the paperwork fouled up for a second time and the patient's left
leg was amputated.

A law suit was filed but when the case came to trial it was thrown out
of court.

The judge ruled the patient didn't have a leg to stand on.

--
I suppose an appeal would be his next step.
--
No dumb questions, just dumb answers.

Larry Wasserman - Baltimore, Maryland -

Robatoy (in ) said:

|| We know he definitely didn't hitch hike.
|
| How would he have called a taxi?

Loudly.

--
Morris Dovey
DeSoto Solar
DeSoto, Iowa USA
http://www.iedu.com/DeSoto